Having dementia is, OBVIOUSLY, not a lot of fun. You feel bad mentally and physically and tired after just a little physical or mental activity. A couple of weeks ago when I had a six-hour professional meeting with two other people I went home and immediately went to sleep for 14 hours.

When you have dementia, it takes a lot of energy to just get through a day and figure out what you can do and how to do it. I have trouble with buttons so I find that I am leaving my preferred “office” shirts buttoned and just pull them over my head. I go to the trouble because wearing a dress shirt during the day — albeit without a tie and with the sleeves rolled up — makes me feel better.

Social interactions are among the most difficult things I have to deal with during the day. They are also the most upsetting to other people because they can see my vulnerabilities at the same time I may annoy the heck out of them.

So, one thing I try to do is to follow the 10 courses of action listed in the mind map below. I have increasing dementia after all so no matter how hard I try I doubt I get more than 80% of these things right. But by trying hard, my efforts are appreciated and reinforced by those family members, service providers, and others who have to deal with me when I am at my most stressed and tired and grouchy. And the fact I am trying lowers their stress.

Just because you have dementia, you are not excused from trying or being nice or appreciating others.

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